I’ve been reading snippets from Respectful Parents Respectful Kids over the past year. I’m especially mindful of parenting these days, as parenting –especially during Covid– is HARD, we have an adorably-active toddler, and also, I’m very very pregnant (expecting baby girl any day now). Among other things, this workbook so kindly and firmly highlights the importance of… taking care of yourself.

Let’s take a peak:

The bottom-line reality– that your needs matter and that you must first care for yourself before others– is demonstrated by the airlines when they direct parents, in case of emergency, to first place the oxygen mask on themselves, and then place the mask on their child. It is easy to see, in this case, that parents will be of no use to their children if they themselves can’t breathe… Parents’ needs do matter, and they require more attention and resources than most communities presently offer.”

Sura Hart and Victoria Kindle Hodson’s Respectful Parents Respectful Kids, pg. 28

As Hart & Hodson so clearly point out, our needs matter. And, in order to keep showing up to parenting — or, anything that takes time, energy, and a lot of effort(!) — we have to care for ourselves. If we don’t, we’ll probably lose steam, be far less present, and perhaps become resentful and mad.

As a gentle, loving reminder: self-care is NOT selfish; neither is it weak. Of course it may look different from one person to the next, or one season of life to another. But, self-care is needed to help meet our needs, to re-invigorate us, and to give us the strength to even be available to care for others.

Life is so nuanced and can be so hard, for so many reasons. How can you stay committed to parenting, to yourself and to others? Taking gentle and deep care of yourself is one answer.

Warmly, Robyn

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For More:

• I highly recommend Respectful Parents Respectful Kids. I learned about this book from my colleague, Dr. Ben Russell, an expert in child development and parenting and the Clinical Director at Positive Development.
• Check out 5 Reasons Why Self-Care Matters. My colleague and great friend wrote this blog post.
• Check out this great self-care article. A colleague originally shared it with me; it turns the idea of self-care as only “bubble baths and chocolate” on it’s head.
• For more ideas, I have a self-care resources tab on this blog!

PS As mentioned above, baby girl Broadus #2 is expected to arrive any day now!! Stay tuned for when I’m back online again. I hope and pray the theme of this post will warmly envelope you, so that not only you can take deep care of yourself but also so you can stay committed to your values and what is important to you. You are cherished and matter.