In my recovery and post-recovery from traumatic brain injury, there’ve been numerous times when I’ve believed the lie that I’m less than. In my recovery, this feeling was mostly related to the mental and physical limitations I was experiencing. And in my post-recovery, this feeling has been related to some residual accident limitations but mostly related to limitations I’ve perceived. While I know in my head and my heart that I am not less than for any of these reasons, it sure is startling how quickly I can start believing a lie about myself when I’m in survival mode, dysregulated, and/or on auto-pilot. (Anyone with me?).

With my therapist hat on, I’d like to highlight that whether the reasons for our emotional pain are real or perceived, the pain we experience is real. Pain is pain, whether its real or perceived, and regardless of the type or extent.

In one of these such pain moments in my post-recovery journey, I decided to do one of the self-compassion exercises that I had just learned from self-compassion researcher, Dr. Kristin Neff. The exercise asked me to journal about what I’d write to a friend going through a similar struggle as me. I’m going to write verbatim some of what I wrote then:

… how God made you is enough. In fact, it is more than enough. God didn’t create you to do something that you cannot do or be someone who you cannot be…. You need only accept the invitation/challenge to BE you. You have a ton to offer this world. God made you in the way that he did to bring glory to Himself, by being you.

~ me, past journal

Even though I wrote this over 6 years ago, it still encourages me when I’m noticing I’m believing a lie about myself. And just so you know, I intentionally chose a part of this journal entry that I was hoping would be generalizable– so if it speaks to you, please accept it!

Coincidentally, my favorite children’s book at the moment has many similar themes as this journal entry. It is called God Made You To Be You, and it is about a cactus named Sammy who compares himself to all his desert friends and finds himself feeling discouraged, ashamed, and useless because he doesn’t have the skills and capabilities that his other friends do. But through the gentle, caring affirmations of his friends, he begins to see how he has great skills and capabilities– and these are in fact ingrained in who he is. All he has to do is be himself.

A couple things to reflect on, if you’d like!:

1. What is one thing you have to offer this world and give to others? If you don’t know, perhaps you’re like Sammy and you need close people in your life to remind you.
2. How can you be as kind and gentle with yourself as you can? There is so much pain around us, and we can’t just trudge through life as if the things around us don’t affect us. Perhaps sensing emotional pain can be a cue for us to extend kindness to ourselves.

Jesus, may we believe the truth about ourselves and our situation. Amen.

Sending you love and warmth and kindness, Robyn

For More:

• Read Jamie Ivey’s God Made You To Be You.
• Learn more about the concept of self-compassion from Kristin Neff, as well as from me (a post I wrote during the pandemic as well as a video I made when I first learned about the concept).